Damage Control
by Mynxalicious
Summary: Clyde sucks at being subtle, and Tweek is just trying to get Craig to come home so he can confess too.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything South Park related, which includes the characters, the show itself, etc.

Here, have some random fluff I decided to write today for my amazing beta TimelessMystery. I hope everyone enjoys, but especially her. :)

* * *

**Clyde:** so when are you going to tell tweek that you want to climb his body like a stripper pole  
**Clyde:** i mean, come on dude, it's been like ten years. just man up and tell him already  
**Clyde:** "tweek, i'm sorry but i want to suck your dick like i'm pulling your soul out of it"  
**Clyde:** "i want you to fuck me until i scream myself hoarse"  
**Clyde:** but it's not just that, you also want like a disney happy ending and to have five million children and to get a white picket fence around your fucking apartment  
**Token:** Dude.  
**Clyde:** what? you know it's true  
**Token:** Clyde…  
**Tweek:** Uhm.  
**Clyde:** this… is the wrong group message, omfg.  
**Clyde:** craig, i'm so, so sorry.  
**Clyde:** I MEAN IT WAS A JOKE. TWEEK IT WAS A JOKE. I WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND

* * *

In hindsight, it probably wasn't the best idea to trust Clyde with any sort of secret. The man was known for being way too stupid for his own good at times, and it wasn't like Clyde was tight lipped on things like this. If he got even a little bit of alcohol in him and his mind wandered, no one could say for sure what might fly out in those unguarded moments.

It was like the world was falling away underneath Craig's feet. It was just crumbling, sliding out from underneath his sneakers and falling into the black hole that had suddenly appeared beneath him. "I can never go home," he told his coworker, who was looking at him sympathetically. "I have to pack up and move to a new city altogether. I have to get a new name."

"Craig, honey, it's going to be okay," Wendy told him as she reached out and patted him lightly on his arm. They were currently taking their lunch break in the company breakroom, and she was snacking away on celery or some other stupid fucking healthy vegetable. He glanced up to glare at her, but couldn't keep it up for long before sinking his head back atop his arms. He groaned pitifully. "I mean, look at it this way: now the secret is out in the open and you don't have to whine about how much you love Tweek anymore!"

"Please try not to appear to enjoy my misery so much, Testaburger," Craig grumbled. Wendy just laughed and took another bite of her celery stick. For Craig Tucker, however, he really did feel like his life was coming to an end. He'd been so _damn careful_ about keeping his crush from bleeding into the rest of his life. He cared too much for Tweek to let something like puppy love destroy his friendship. Tweek didn't seem to be the type of guy to be into other guys- Craig had tested out the waters in high school, and had only been met with a blank stare in response. There was no reason to admit to his own feelings if they were just going to be denied, right? That's what Craig always figured anyway.

"I think you're just blowing this way out of proportion," she told him quietly when someone else entered the break room. Craig didn't even have to look up to know it was Cartman. He could tell by the lumbering gait and the way he kept coughing into his palm, attempting to seem subtle but probably listening in on their conversation. Fucking Cartman… "Has Tweek said anything else in your conversation?"

Craig didn't even want to grab his phone to take a peek. He felt like it would just be throwing the last pile of dirt atop his grave. "I don't know," he whined instead. Wendy heaved a sigh and Craig tilted his head to glare up at her, finding her to be looking like she was praying for patience.

"Craig, seriously, I'm sure everything will be fine. You guys have been thick as thieves since elementary school. I seriously doubt something like_this_ is going to tarnish that." She shot him a look like she was honestly questioning his intelligence right now. "Just, I don't know, buck up and deal with it."

"_Buck up and deal with it_? Seriously, Testaburger, I'm blown away by your counseling sometimes." Craig finally shoved himself into a properly seated position and shot a glare Cartman's way. "Just fucking buy the oreos like you always do, fatass, and leave."

Cartman sniffed distastefully. "Fuck off, Tucker," he snapped back, but he finally smashed the buttons that would give him the cookies. He got the same fucking thing every time he used the vending machine. Craig wasn't sure why Cartman thought he was so freaking smooth all the time. "Although from what I'm hearing, it seems your life is already pretty shitty today. I'm delighted."

Craig raised his hand and showed Cartman just what he thought of that, flipping him off before slamming his head against the table again. "Seriously, Cartman, go fuck yourself," Wendy snapped. "I just got him to stop moping, you asshole!"

"Please put _fuck all of you_ on my tombstone, Wendy. Thanks."

"Craig, I swear to God…"

* * *

**Clyde:** tweek? i'm serious, bro. i was just kidding around!  
**Tweek:** you've never been very funny  
**Clyde** ouch, tweekers. that really hurts.  
**Clyde:** token can back me up though! i'm just joshing.  
**Token:** Please don't ever say "joshing" seriously again, Clyde.  
**Clyde:** BACK ME UP HERE TOKEN JESUS CHRIST  
**Tweek:** i don't think even i would buy that at this point, clyde  
**Clyde:** i'm dead. i'm so dead. when craig gets ahold of me, i'm so fucking dead.

* * *

Tweek clutched his cellphone tightly, his heart fluttering in his throat. There was a chance that this entire thing _was_ a joke, but the more Clyde floundered, the more sure Tweek became that it wasn't. Craig liked him. Craig _liked_ him, as more than a friend, as something more along the lines that Tweek felt back. A smile blossomed over his face and he actually literally giggled to himself, looking over the first few messages that had started this entire thing.

So far, after two hours, Craig still hadn't said anything in the group conversation though. That wasn't a good sign, right? Craig should say something. Deny it, or try to wave it off, or maybe even own up to it. Something! Instead there had been nothing but radio silence on his end. Tweek frowned a little as his stomach quieted down, and he opened up a new message to send to his best friend and roommate.

[To: Craig  
4:37pm  
Message: you're coming home in 20 minutes, right?]

There. Sent. That was calm and nonchalant enough, right? It didn't make Tweek seem too over eager, just curious to know when Craig was going to come waltzing through the door. He shifted a bit on the couch and bit his lower lip, worrying it between his teeth. Today was a rare day off for Tweek- from both of his two jobs even- and that meant that he didn't really have anything to do. He'd done a bunch of the chores earlier in the day, and that left him with nothing but the television or internet to keep him company.

He set his phone down on the couch cushion next to him and turned his gaze back to the TV. He willed himself to focus on the show that was playing- some comedy that Craig enjoyed, but Tweek only watched passingly when he was sitting out here with Craig most nights. Ten minutes later, with no response from Craig, Tweek was back to clutching his phone and studying its screen.

[To: Craig  
4:49pm  
Message: should i get chinese food for dinner tonight?]

Another fine attempt at getting Craig to talk to him. Tweek would pat himself on the shoulder if he was the type of person to do so. He set his phone down and stared at the television again, before smiling a little and going through with it. His hand patted himself on the shoulder and he snickered. He couldn't help himself! He was in such a good mood. He'd liked Craig since high school- they'd always been close, but Tweek hadn't realized his feelings until sophomore year- and it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulders to know it was requited.

It would also explain all of Craig's weird interest in Tweek's dating habits around that time. Tweek had been so awkward and shy back then, worried that Craig was catching onto Tweek's infatuation. He'd just quickly shot down all of Craig's questions whenever he posed them, and attempted to quickly change topics. He didn't want his best friend to know about his crush! It would be God awful if he found out, and he just… he didn't want to rock the boat and beg for more, if Craig wasn't willing to give it.

Craig had always been the one to make all the first moves. He'd been the one to befriend Tweek after their stupid fight in elementary school, been the one to ask Tweek if he wanted to room together in college, and had even been the one to point out they should just rent an apartment together too once they graduated. It was always Craig who took the lead and Tweek who tottered along behind him. It was kind of weird that this time it was Clyde bumbling things up between Craig and Tweek, but… Tweek didn't mind that he would be the one smoothing things over! It was kind of fitting. Craig did everything in their friendship, so this time… this time it would be Tweek to make the first official move to take it to the next level.

He glanced at his phone and frowned when he saw that there was still no reply. It was a little after five now, and Craig should be getting off right about now. He plucked up his phone and tapped open his previous conversation with Craig. There had been no text at all today, which was weird though not unheard of. Craig sometimes went off the radar when he was really busy. There was no way he could have missed Clyde's messy attempts at smoothing things over and laughing everything off, or the fact of what Clyde had said to begin with.

[To: Craig  
5:03pm  
Message: i'm going to order chinese food. hopefully it's still warm when you get home!]

Tweek jumped to his feet and hurried into the kitchen to find Craig's favorite delivery place's menu. It would be a nice gesture on Tweek's part to order all of Craig's favorites and to smile when he got home and say, "_Craig, I like you too! So there's nothing to worry about._"

* * *

**Clyde:** i mean, i'm sorry i was the one who did it, but  
**Clyde:** it's about time they got a move on, you know?  
**Token:** Clyde, please just shut up.  
**Clyde:** i did the right thing in the end  
**Clyde:** I DID THE RIGHT THING TOKEN OKAY?  
**Token:** Please, please, for the love of all that's holy, stop.

* * *

"He knows," Craig wheezed as he bent over double next to his desk, attempting to breathe in and out calmly. Wendy was crouched next to him and rubbing soothing circles on his back. "Oh God, oh God, this is the end, isn't it?"

"Not that I'm not absolutely flattered you're willing to show this much emotion in front of me, Tucker," Wendy said on the tail end of a sigh, "but I really think you should go home now. It's time you worked through this with Tweek himself."

"I can never go home," Craig told her and tilted his face so he could glare up at her. "I have no home now, Wendy. My life is over."

"Your life isn't over!" Wendy snapped and reached out to pick up Craig's phone for him.

"What are you doing!?" he cried as he attempted to grab it from her, but she darted just out of his reach. Craig's pulse jumped up into his throat as it sky rocketed, and oh God this couldn't be good for his health. He felt like he was going to faint.

"I'm sending Tweek a response saying you're on your way," Wendy told him as she stuck her tongue between her lips in thought. "God, how do you type on this thing? It's so old and clunky. Please get a smartphone already."

Craig grumbled as he got to his feet and grabbed his messenger bag. "I don't want one," he groused. Wendy shot him a look.

"You're just cheap and don't want to pay for an iPhone," she told him, holding out his phone so he could snatch it from her grasp. "I'm going to buy you one for Christmas. I'll text Tweek later and ask him if he wants to split the cost now that you two are dating."

"_We're not dating!_"

* * *

**Clyde:** do you think they'll name their first kid after me?  
**Token:** You're only making this worse, dude.  
**Craig:** shut up and die, clyde  
**Clyde:** CRAIG I'M SORRY

* * *

The front door opened a little after forty past five, and Tweek's pulse jumped all over the place when he heard it. "U-uhm," he muttered to himself as he finished unloading the chinese food from the containers. He could hear Craig calling his name, and he hollered, "I'm in the kitchen," without stopping the preparations. A minute later and he could hear Craig shuffling in, and Tweek turned to glance over his shoulder at him. "I got your favorite."

"Thanks," Craig mumbled and looked anywhere but at his best friend's face. Tweek frowned a little and placed the last few plates on the table, still studying Craig's face. Craig finally looked at him for a second and then tore his gaze away a moment later. "You didn't have to-"

"I wanted to!" Tweek told him, probably too quickly and too loud. "Uhm, I mean. It's fine. I figured it'd be nice, you know? To just order out and not to have to worry about it."

Craig looked at him again and this time his gaze didn't fall away when Tweek met it. "Yeah," Craig said and then didn't make a move to sit down or start eating. His tongue came out to roll over his dry bottom lip and he clenched and unclenched his fists. "A-about what Clyde said-"

"It made me happy!" Tweek told him quickly, before he could take it back or deny it. Tweek's stomach was all tied up in knots, and he felt like he could be sick any moment. God, this was part of the reason Tweek had never confessed before. This was the worst feeling! Even though it seemed certain that Craig shared his feelings- that Clyde had fucked up, but had fucked up in a way that Tweek _greatly appreciated_\- it still made him nervous to think that Craig might take it all back. Craig blinked owlishly at him, looking stunned or maybe like a freight train had just bowled right into him.

"It… it made you happy?"

"Y-yeah," Tweek muttered and scuffed his sock against the kitchen linoleum. "I, uhm. I've kind of liked you since high school, and… I never wanted to tell you! Because, I don't know, I was worried it would fuck up our friendship and you'd hate me-"

"I could never hate you," Craig supplied, his brows furrowed together.

"Well, I realized that halfway through college, but… I don't know! By then it was too late, you know? I had already kept the secret that long, and I didn't want to freak you out or anything, so… I just didn't tell you. And now I feel stupid, because we could have been dating all that time! We could have had this super happy relationship going on and…" Tweek trickled off at the end and he could feel his cheeks heating up. "What I'm trying to say is! I like you… too… Craig."

Craig stared at him with his mouth partially agape, seeming to be absorbing all this new information. "You liked me all this time?" he finally asked after a minute or two more of going over it all in his brain. Tweek nodded mutely. "So I had nothing to worry about?" Tweek nodded again. Craig just stared at him intensely, his brows still a little wrinkled but not in an unpleasant way this time.

They both seemed to make up their minds together, because a moment later both men had stepped forward and now Craig was crowded in Tweek's space, his hands coming up to cup either side of his face. Tweek laughed a little weakly and smiled up into Craig's eyes, feeling a jolt of pleasure shoot through him. "So that means…?"

Craig breathed out against his lips, "Mean?"

"That Clyde was telling the truth? You do like me?"

"Yeah," Craig responded, and then all the rest of the words seemed to fly out the window, because the next moment Craig was kissing him. It was light at first- chaste, a proper first kiss- before Craig's tongue rolled against Tweek's lower lip. Tweek opened his mouth on the tail end of a sigh, and Craig wasted no time deepening the kiss. His hands dove into the back of Tweek's hair, tilting his head just right so that they could properly fit together, their knees bumping as they pushed up against each other.

They only tore away a moment later when both Craig and Tweek's phones emitted a chirp, telling them they had received a new message. Craig's eyes roved over Tweek's face before his lips tilted up. "Uh," he began and then cut himself off, clearing his throat. His voice was definitely a lot huskier than it usually was. "I guess that means we're dating now."

"Y-yeah," Tweek whispered back, a pleasant warmth curling in the bottom of his stomach and lighting him up from the inside out. "Yeah, it definitely does."

* * *

**Craig:** we're dating now. fuck off.  
**Clyde:** wait  
**Clyde:** WAIT  
**Clyde:** stop the presses.  
**Token:** Oh my God.  
**Clyde:** DON'T YOU MEAN "THANK YOU, CLYDE?" I MEAN  
**Clyde:** IT IS THANKS TO ME THIS HAPPENED, YOU KNOW  
**Token:** Clyde, I'm begging you, just SHUT THE FUCK UP.


End file.
